You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you had me at cake vodka
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
