Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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