did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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