I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
