I cannot find my penis.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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