He is an equal opportunity slut.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
ttyl tear gas
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
