If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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