I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
so much tequila, so little girl.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
