well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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