Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
