I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
