when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
