I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
