you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
