I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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