Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
