So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
