Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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