uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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