I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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