Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
