Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
