i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
