his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
