people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
