Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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