oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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