I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
