she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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