So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Can you repeat that, but with context?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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