pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He has the fingertips of a God
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