What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
