When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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