wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
