So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
