im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
