I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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