She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
