i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Send help, water and tortillas.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize