I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize