Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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