youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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