she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
