I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
