this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
