I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
