Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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