so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize