Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
