I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Shame - the story of my life.
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