No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
