suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize