At least make sure they are 18
Why
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
