Whod you bang
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
