Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
