When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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