Whod you bang
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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