I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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