Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize