question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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