508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
